fighter

 Today another long 3 hours class. untill th emiddle it was fine and then i got lost.and  desperate and sad.

baby, i won't let my self to feel down.

  baby i'm having  long days just for repeating all information that i suppose to know

and it's not fair

baby i don't wanna blame myself something is different in me.

i don;'t wanna let it break me

i will break it

baby, i will be your poweful mama who fights with all these incidenses .

who fights.who is a fighter.

letter

Honestly, I have been miserable , lost ,desprate and stupid at least in my second semester as a forieger master student. I am  sure even if you ask people in my class ,they will show me to you as that person. it wasn't my fault or it doesn't mean that I am not working enough or i am a fool.no your mother used to be a good student .it's just my hormones and stress. Sweetheart i want you to know during all this hardships I had my boyfriend with me .However we are far, he is not so comfortable with emotional situations and etc but we had a really good time skyping with eachother everynight, chatting every day.I am not sure if i should call him your father cause who knows what will happen to us but i really like you to be his child.he is sweet ,he loves me and i love him too. Darling I promise to be strong and do this challenge. I wish you could understand what i am through. I promise to be a momy who you can be proud of.